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July 14, 2006

Well, I’m in Honolulu now, as most of you should know already. And as probably slightly fewer of you should remember, I was here just half a year ago for winter break. It’s kind of weird being back here so soon–I’ve never come back this quickly before. I’ve barely even had time to miss it. But actually, I don’t think that’s the reason it’s weird, or even the reason I didn’t miss it that much.

Have you ever been having an awesome time and simultaneously wanted desperately to be somewhere else? Hawaii’s my favorite place in the world, without question. Its meaning for me is so indescribable that I completely neglected to attempt to describe it at all when I was here last time. That’s why it’s really, frighteningly weird that on some level, I want summer to be over already. I want to get to Berkeley. It seems unhealthy how much I want to get to Berkeley, because it can’t possibly live up to my expectations, right?

But I know that won’t be a problem, because I don’t actually have any real expectations. I have no idea what college is going to be like. I have those tiny little tastes from the very few times I visited the campus, and that’s it. I really don’t have enough of an imagination to create much more than that.

But that’s exactly what’s so intriguing about the whole idea. I have no idea what it’s going to be like. But I do know it’s going to be entirely different from anything I’ve experienced before. I don’t know if I’m going to like my roommate, but I know I’m going to have a roommate that I’ve never met before. I don’t know if I’m going to like my classes, but I know they’ll operate on different procedures than any class I’ve had in high school. I don’t know if I’ll enjoy all the things there are to do in Berkeley, but I do know that there will always be something to do. And from someone coming from Folsom, isn’t that just living the dream?

I’m at a time in my life where all I want is to see something new, but right now, I’m just in that wonderful place where we go almost every summer. And especially since I was here only half a year ago, everything just seems so very FAMILIAR.

I want to be able to make a prediction for what’s going to happen next, and be so utterly wrong that it blows my mind. I don’t care if I have to go through hell to do it. At least then I might start missing something again.

I leave you with a song by Fountains of Wayne. You can say what you like about their style, but they’re excellent with lyrics. As you read it, think upbeat, but at the same time a bit relaxed, like summer. Try to keep that in your head through the whole thing.

It must be summer
Cause the days are long
And I dial your number
But you’re gone, gone, gone
I’d set out searching
But the car won’t start
And it must be summer
Cause I’m falling apart

I try your sister
On the Jersey Shore
She said you might be stopping by
But she’s just not sure
So I call your mother
On Long Island Sound
She said it must be summer
Cause you’re never around…

And the sun is beating me senseless
I feel defenseless like a dying lamb
I don’t want to lie by the oceanside
Don’t want to play in the sand
Can’t you understand?
Can’t you understand?

It must be summer
Cause the streets are bare
And I try your number
But you’re just not there
And the sun keeps shining
Til it’s dead and gone
And it must be summer
Cause I can’t go on…

And the sun is beating me senseless
I feel defenseless like a dying lamb
I don’t want to lie by the oceanside
Don’t want to play in the sand
Can’t you understand?
Can’t you understand?

It must be summer…
It must be summer…

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2 Comments
  1. I feel you man. I feel you. I am stealing the song for my post, also. You hoodlum.
    S.

  2. hahaha i know you’ve been just a LITTLE bit interested. that lure of having me send you pictures of various produce items… i know it is very tempting for you. but you still abstain.

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