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January 2, 2007

Usually when I go this long without writing I feel like I should write something deep, but hey, when have I ever wasted a good opportunity to brag about myself?  And just because you’re all probably sick of me talking about my test scores and such, today I’m going to talk instead about how hot I am.  Oh yeah.

So Andy gave me this huge list of things to do (and more importantly, to take pictures of) while I was in Japan that spanned over three pages–front and back.  Seriously.  I was even a witness to the creation of the last page or so.  Since I was only in Japan for five full days (plus the half-days of my arrival and departure), I knew there was no way I was going to get to everything on the list.  I knew that half the stuff that was on there Andy just put there for kicks anyway.  That meant I had to examine the list and mentally pick out some of the most important things, and make sure I got a picture of those.  I had Angelica review the list too, and she didn’t even know herself what some of those things were (you can’t possibly be getting all of this just from anime and your Japanese class, Andy), so those things were eliminated off the bat.  One of the things that stood out, though, just because I found the idea so hilarious, was to go to a maid cafe.  If you’ve never heard of Japan’s maid cafes, think of Hooters translated into Japanese–more cutesy, perhaps more classy, more subtle, but most importantly, just plain weirder.  Obviously, the waitresses are all in maid outfits, but there are a few more key characteristics that I didn’t know about.  So here’s the story.

We’re in Akihabara, a district where there are tons of video games and anime sorts of merchandise–it’s just a generally bright and colorful place.  So it was not altogether weird to find a girl in a maid costume handing out flyers for a maid cafe down the street, and since we were just about to go to lunch anyway, and even Angelica was curious to see what it was like since she moved to Japan, we decided to go.  Unfortunately, when we asked the maid on the street for a picture with her, she told us she wasn’t allowed to do that, and in fact, we couldn’t even take a picture inside the cafe.  Well, we could, but it would cost the equivalent of ten dollars, which didn’t seem worth it, even for one of the most important pictures I could get.  Angelica snuck a few on her cell phone, but of course they all had to be of the maids with their backs turned, and we couldn’t even get one with me and a maid together.  I resigned to the fact that those were the best pictures we were going to get, and we ate–most of us had a spaghetti dish.  What we didn’t know was that the custom at this cafe was for the maid who served you your food to feed you your first bite.  Somehow I got volunteered as the first one to go, and the maid twirled a forkful of spaghetti onto a spoon, blew on it (presumably to cool it off), and pushed it forth into my mouth.  Then she did the same for my dad, Angelica, and her friend Yumiko.  I couldn’t stop laughing through the whole experience, so it’s pretty lucky I didn’t choke or anything.  Later on, a man stood up in the middle of the restaurant to take a challenge that cost twenty dollars.  He had to beat the maid in a drinking contest; if he won, he would get to take a picture with her, and if he lost, she would slap him across the face.  The catch?  He had a beer to drink that was maybe twice the size of the tea that the maid had to drink.  But of course, since you can get a picture with the maid for ten dollars without playing at all, you pretty much would only play the game to lose.  And lose he did.  And the slap that he earned for it was not just a playful whack, this was a full-on slap–it made a sound just like all the best slaps in the movies from girls disgusted at the advances of pathetic perverted guys.  Wow.  It was so awesome I couldn’t even believe it.

But then it got even better.  After we left, we passed by the same maid who had given us our flyer, and who had fed me the bite of spaghetti.  She was back on flyer duty, but this time when we asked for a picture again, she said she would–because she thought I was cute.  So I got my maid picture, and once Angelica sends the maid that e-mail like they agreed, so will she.

Ahahaha!  Ohhh, the hilarity.

And later in my trip, we were walking around and exploring the area where our hotel was located, and we came across this enormous crowd of young girls.  By asking around we found out that they were there for a big concert–why they were having it around noon-ish is beyond me.  It’s also beyond me that there had to be less than one guy for every hundred girls.  It was seriously difficult to spot one–we couldn’t even tell there were any for some time.  Can you think of any American concerts that would have that kind of ratio?  Not even the Backstreet Boys or something like that, I bet.  But anyway, we were walking around that area, and my dad swears I was getting all kinds of looks from the girls in the crowd.  I noticed a couple myself.  What can I say?  Japanese chicks dig me.

I apologize profusely for this entire entry, Christie.

And to the rest of you for that matter.  No one should have to sit through this drivel.

Something deeper next time, or at least a little less shallow.  Maybe even tonight, if you’re lucky.


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  1. The other significant sources of items on the list were Andrea (who is upset at not being credited :P) my being a nerd, and the internet.

  2. It’s cause you’re exotic man. Half-American? That’s like a guiltless pleasure – it’s all the intrigue of an American but you’re PART Japanese so it’s, like, ok, ya know??Heart, heart, heart, kitty, fish, demolition…

  3. Chris! Apologize to Andy’s female form…

  4. i TOLD you that you were sexy!!!

  5. well wut can i say …. some girls just have an odd taste … jk!

  6. mmm……AWKWARD (watching the maid feed spaghetti to your dad… I think I would barf if that happened to me lol…. you must have better control of your reflexes)

  7. Anonymous permalink

    haha you need to post these pictures, chris .. its been so long since ive seen your beautiful locks

  8. Er, Chris is ALL-American, half-BAKED. ;D

  9. I believe those figures are only for North America, whereas the Wii has been sold in other theaters whereas the PS3 has not, so Wii might currently have the market share lead.

  10. heavily considering berkeley as well as davis…..

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