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January 20, 2007

I just haven’t been up to writing for a while, for what will soon become obvious reasons.  Conversation between me and Andrea the other day:

C says:

you there?

Andrea says:

hey yeah

Andrea says:

i heard the computer ping

C says:

you’re online a lot

C says:

when’s your first class tomorrow?

Andrea says:

9

Andrea says:

linguistics

Andrea says:

yay

C says:

cool, me too

C says:

i’ve got my seminar

C says:

“bad books and how to spot them”

Andrea says:

just now i was reading hgttg

Andrea says:

ah

C says:

what is that?

Andrea says:

the guide

C says:

the guide to…

Andrea says:

come on

Andrea says:

you can do it

C says:

sorry, my brain is not working at all right now

Andrea says:

haha

C says:

i’ve got nothing

C says:

i guess you won’t tell me until i figure it out, huh

C says:

that’s okay, i don’t have to know

C says:

oh okay

C says:

hitchhiker’s. got it

C says:

my brain really isn’t working

C says:

so um yeah, you were wrong about christie, ms. psych major

Andrea says:

?

C says:

she was not “fine”

C says:

she was, in fact, very unfine

Andrea says:

thats just my luck

Andrea says:

i dont quite like saying the words ‘they’ll be fine’ since last
time i did someone died

Andrea says:

…damn etiquette

Andrea says:

so, er, whats wrong

C says:

yeah, fuck etiquette.  fuck
all of those facades that make us feel like we’re good people when they don’t
actually do a damn thing

C says:

you know how christie’s parents are uber-christian?

Andrea says:

umm, no

C says:

well, now you know

Andrea says:

ok

C says:

and one of her sisters lives here in Berkeley

C says:

somehow, her two sisters were able to discern that she was going
out with me, and she wasn’t supposed to go out with anyone last semester

Andrea says:

ah

C says:

in addition to that, they found pictures of her drinking alcohol
on facebook

C says:

and reported this to their parents, apparently because they were
“concerned”

C says:

one more thing.  christie’s
grades sucked last semester

C says:

she got one B

C says:

and between all of this, christie’s family decided amongst
themselves that christie was becoming a total degenerate

C says:

so now, in addition to the tougher class schedule and new job she
has…

C says:

she has church events to go to almost every night, and they can
last for hours

C says:

after less than a week, she’s totally exhausted.  she has to wake up for an 8:00 class every day because she has a language course

C says:

and she is strictly prohibited from going out with any guys until
further notice (whatever time christie’s family determines she is
“mature” enough to handle it)

C says:

that’s why she hasn’t been able to see me since i got here

C says:

and there’s no way to keep carrying it on

C says:

her sister knows a bunch of people on campus, particularly people
from church (who incidentally lecture her for nearly all of the hours she’s at
the church events)

C says:

and if any of them were to spot us again, it’s hard to imagine
what might happen

C says:

big brother is watching her like a hawk

C says:

i mean, think about how alone that guy felt thinking about how big
brother was watching everyone in the society

C says:

imagine if big brother was watching you and only you

C says:

how alone would you feel then?

C says:

maybe it’s just because she was worrying about finally having to
tell me

C says:

but every time i’ve seen her and talked to her on the phone…

C says:

it’s like, she was such a bubbly person that she just makes
everyone in the room light up a little more

C says:

now…

C says:

it’s like her soul has been sucked out, spat on the ground and
stomped to a bloody pulp

C says:

and the worst thing is, i can’t even cry about it

C says:

all i feel right now is hatred

C says:

hatred for the people who have crushed the soul of someone so pure
she never even had anything bad to say about the family that gives her all the
stress and all the grief she ever feels

C says:

the girl who never gives any of them any of the fucking shit they
deserve

C says:

and now of course, i feel like, “fuck all christians”

C says:

even though i know that totally isn’t fair

C says:

but what the fuck else are you supposed to do when your
stereotypes of people are confirmed again and again and again and AGAIN?!

C says:

i’m done….

Andrea says:

i know

C says:

it’s okay if all you’ve got is some more etiquette.  i’ll take it

Andrea says:

i’ve got nothing

Andrea says:

when you said ‘ms psych major’ i kind of turned off all speaking
automatically

C says:

i’m sorry…

C says:

i didn’t mean it that way…

Andrea says:

you shouldnt be saying im sorry

Andrea says:

i understand perfectly

C says:

i don’t know which way i meant it, really’

Andrea says:

believe me, i happen to understand the different ways in which
phrases mean something at the same time

Andrea says:

but that’s not the topic right now

C says:

you know you’re the first person i’m talking to about this

C says:

i don’t know if i intend to talk about it to anyone else

Andrea says:

im not so sure you picked the right person

Andrea says:

i havnt figured out my own problems yet

C says:

right

Andrea says:

although

Andrea says:

i do listen very well

C says:

thank you

Andrea says:

i seriously was debating whether i should say to you the word fine
yesterday for a while,

Andrea says:

but eventually it came to the point where i didnt quite know what
to do

Andrea says:

and went along with the ‘normal’ thing

C says:

it’s okay

Andrea says:

so much good that did

Andrea says:

i mean last time i said the words “——— be fine”

Andrea says:

jans fusband died

Andrea says:

husband

C says:

yeah

C says:

it’s not like it would have made a difference either way

C says:

“fine” is just as good as any other response in that
respect

Andrea says:

thats why i was even debating on whether to say dont worry about
it

Andrea says:

the way i figure it right now

Andrea says:

and this is seriously the best i can string together

Andrea says:

all you can do right now is talk to her on phones to try to make
her feel that You’re not going to let this affect anything, especially you

C says:

i don’t know…

C says:

i’m not sure if even that is safe

Andrea says:

dorm phones?

C says:

oh

C says:

i guess

C says:

but…

Andrea says:

cell phones leave trails

Andrea says:

dorm phones stay in the room and i know her roomates shouldnt be
out to get her

Andrea says:

but?…

C says:

nothing

Andrea says:

what

C says:

no, that’s exactly what i should do

Andrea says:

in analyzing the covert possibilities of this,.. i dont

C says:

it’s just that it’s going to make it that much harder

Andrea says:

see anything else

Andrea says:

i know

Andrea says:

are you willing to do that

C says:

yes

Andrea says:

can you make her laugh?

C says:

sorry?

Andrea says:

well can you?

C says:

i guess, sometimes

Andrea says:

then do it

C says:

but that was before…

C says:

i mean, i can try…

Andrea says:

try

Andrea says:

try is just so, blah

Andrea says:

and try happens to fail miserably when it comes to this stuff

Andrea says:

don’t try

Andrea says:

i prefer the word want

C says:

okay, yes

C says:

i want to make her laugh again

Andrea says:

ok

C says:

i guess i’d better go to bed now

Andrea says:

…i think i need to watch another episode of bleach

C says:

is that something on crunchyroll?

Andrea says:

yeah

Andrea says:

its also number 2 right now in japan

Andrea says:

i think

C says:

wow

C says:

okay, well, good night

Andrea says:

yeah, night night

Andrea says:

swing by

Andrea says:

sproul

Andrea says:

some time

Andrea says:

between

Andrea says:

10-11

Andrea says:

and

Andrea says:

12-1

C says:

how come?

Andrea says:

i’ll be there

Andrea says:

tabling

Andrea says:

maybe

C says:

for animage?

Andrea says:

yeah

Andrea says:

by the way

Andrea says:

Who are you?

C says:

i guess i’m supposed to answer that without any clarification

C says:

i am a street fighter

Andrea says:

wrong answer… i think

Andrea says:

i just thought id ask

Andrea says:

although i know im never going to get the right answer

C says:

would you know the right answer if it came?

Andrea says:

i might

C says:

do you know the answer?

Andrea says:

i know the direction i want the answers in

C says:

i guess you’re lucky that way

Andrea says:

no

Andrea says:

no im not

Andrea says:

ill tell you about it some time

C says:

knowing something is never a bad thing

C says:

especially something as important as that

C says:

if people knew more of everything, we wouldn’t have nearly as many
of the problems in the world as we have now

Andrea says:

your not thinking the way i am

Andrea says:

and i dont want to explain the lines of my thinking at the moment

C says:

yes, i suppose i do a lot of not thinking the way you do

C says:

that’s kind of the point, isn’t it?

C says:

you do thinking that most guys with a 2330 can’t do

C says:

that’s something, i’d say

C says:

okay, well

C says:

good night again

 

2330?

Andrea says:

waiiittt

Andrea says:

what the crap is 2330

C says:

SAT

Andrea says:

oh

Andrea says:

hmm

Andrea says:

….hahaha, i didnt know you could get that high

Andrea says:

i got a 1810

Andrea says:

or something like that

C says:

i remember

C says:

because that’s the sort of thing i remember

Andrea says:

….and i must reiterate that there should be a major specifically
designed for story tellers….grr

Andrea says:

ok

Andrea says:

umm

Andrea says:

night

C says:

g’night a third time


So there’s the conversation.  Xanga seems to be lagging because there’s so much on the page right now, so I’m going to end this and start another entry.

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