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May 10, 2007

On a heavier note though, it seems that Andy finally went through with breaking up with Andrea.  I was starting to think perhaps he’d reconsidered it.  I think it’s good for them though.  They aren’t a good match.  And they both knew it; even Andrea did.  In fact, very shortly before the breakup happened, she wrote something on her Xanga saying how she had just realized her relationship had nothing in it to distinguish it from a “friends with benefits” relationship.  I mean, that was a devastating blow.  I really don’t think they could have easily recovered from that, even if Andy hadn’t already made up his mind to end it.  And in some ways I have to think, it was actually as clean a breakup as either of them could have asked for.  It at least seemed to me that they had each independently come to the conclusion that their relationship just wasn’t working out, at close to the same time.  No hard feelings then, right?

Well, yes and no.  I think that in time (we have a whole summer, after all), Andy and Andrea may grow to be the friends they were.  Better friends than they were.  And even now, I wouldn’t say that Andrea is particularly upset with him.  But she was already at a peak of emotional instability before it happened, so the unfortunate next step is inevitably… she’s pretty broken right now.  I can only imagine, except I can’t even do that.  Not any better than I can imagine what it’s like to be a bat.

And now she’s writing that she feels she’s pushed us away, placed some sort of burden on us… a complete reversal from before.  She would have assailed that so intensely, the idea that sharing one’s problems is a burden to everyone who has to listen.  It is a stupid idea.  It’s a callous view of life in general.  A burden?  What else are we even here for, but to share our problems?

It leads me to believe that she’s missed the point.  The point was never to get her to stop burdening people with her made-up problems, because it’s oh-so-selfish of her.  Perhaps I’ve missed that point from time to time too, and that’s why she’s missed it.  The point is that it’s so damn self-destructive.


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  1. I think it may have to do with the fact that I honestly couldn’t put up with the amount of emotional drain and demand for attention and support that she needs. As you know I am someone who is naturally kind of solitary and I put a high value on my own self reliance etc. Whereas Andrea is someone who has in the past been something of a loner at times it has not been by choice. And although it’s unfair to her since I knew about it all along, I couldn’t handle her superstition based worries, and I guess I always hoped she would grow past them and one day say “You know what? I am going to stop stressing and worrying about things based on superstition and other things that aren’t real” and then stop by force of will. I also just wish she could have some more self confidence, know that we don’t resent her, rather than telling us that she does and hoping to be proven wrong.In any case sorry for posting my gripes here.

  2. I love you’re reference to the bat

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